学术词汇使用较丰富,拼写做的很棒;可适当增加从句的使用;全文结构较为严谨,应适当增加文中衔接词的使用;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Is It Wise to Make Friends Online With the development of the information technology, increasing number of people communicate with other people via QQ, MSN, and FACEBOOK.Some people think that making friends Online is wise for giving a new way to expend your circle of friends. However, other people hold the idea that it is indiscreet to make friends on the Internet. As for me, I agree with the former idea that it is wise to make friends online. Making friends Online is a new way to broaden our circle of friends. What's more, making friends in the internet isn't only enlarge your knowledge, but also broaden your horizon. Learning from those friends online living in different cities or countries,we acquire more surprisedly colorful cultures and knowledge. Most important, we could talk our sadness and misfortune to friends in the Internet rather than those friends in our real life, because we are afraid of becoming the centre of depressions in our daily life. To sum up, a natural conclusion can be drawn that making friends online is beneficial to people's communication and enlarge our knowledge.
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