- 分享到:
能够使用一些不错的从句；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用；作者词汇使用较为丰富熟练，单词拼写方面要更仔细。
Recently, there is a hot debate whether college students pay 60 yuan a month to hire a cleaner to clean their dorm. In my eyes, college student should not hire a cleaner. Firstlty, colleage students don't have their own job and they just get money from their parents. It will be another financial burden that their parents need to undertake. As a student, especially college studen, are required to domenstrate their indebtedness to their parents instead of using money to hire a clearner. Secondly, hiring a cleaner will do harm to their ability of independence. It is at home that our parents can help them to clean the room but now they are at university and they should do everything by themselves. If they hire a cleaner, they will lose the opportunity to build up their indepedence which it is comparatively important in the modern society. Finally, not hiring a cleaner will improve the sense of teamwork spirit in the dorm. Everybody in the dorm has his responsibilty to keep the dorm clean and it is a another family that they will stay for four years. All in all, doing the cleaning by themselves instead of hiring a cleaner is great of benifit. It is high time that colleage students should give up hiring a cleaner and try their best to do everything as possible as they can.
