语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;句式灵活多变,再加强从句的使用会更棒;可适当增加学术词汇的使用量;请注意分段。
A brief History of World Commercial Fishing In the above picture,we can know that a fishing boat is catching on the sea which have many and great fishes in 1900,however,there is another circumstances in 1995 that it have many boats and instead has one fish.Thinking of many reasons in this change, we face it. Why was it happened in a brief history?I consider some causes about this.First of all,with the social quickly developing and the productivity gradually promoting, all kinds of tools are appliable to catch fishes,and can not be innovated in the long time ago,such as,sonar,electricity and so on.Secondly, because of many convienent traffics in the different countries of the world,it can provide for us not only to transport the catching-fishes from one country to another more quickly,and also to sale them between the different Supermarkets to keep its fresh.Lastly,even though the fishes can not be producted in their country ,more and more people in the cities would like to eat them.