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行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用；请加强词汇表达的多样性，但请注意检查拼写的拼写；建议平时练习中，多多背诵一些好的句子和文章。
On a sunday moning,i saw the accident.Now i d like to tell you what i saw. Last week ,i went to a park,a yong women across the road with hold a phone,when the light turned to red. while a car across the road ,so it breake the women. Different people have differnt opinons. in my opinon,here are two resons.On the one hand,the yang women shold not hold phone when she across the road ,as we all konwn ,it is not safety.on the other hand,the driver should drive lowly when he corss the road.In conlusion , they were responsibly for this accidents.
