文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;缺少组织,上下文衔接欠流畅;句式变化较为明显,可适当增加从句的使用;请注意分段。
When we come to talk to how should we do better in Student Association Chairman's job,we always found out what we having in myself.This is three reasons to show me why i could do better in Student Association Chairman's job.Firstly,I am working hard in my study,from that can show that I am a better student.Secondly,I can show nice to everyone in anytime,that can help me do better in this job.Thirdly,I am interest in everywhere not only in all kinds of Sports,but also in Music,English and so on.These reasons can help me gain many support. If i am elected Student Association Chairman, I will work hard and help anytime in trouble student as well as improve study environment in campus.I hope our students can play happy and study well between spare time and learning time.But importantly,We can make good use of our college's time to do what should we do.