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Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics, Current Population Survey.
文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；上下文衔接不流畅，文章结构不严谨；采用了一些简单的从句；请注意分段。
A few weeks ago,I tried doing a young volunteer to visit the old man.That morning ,I got up very early .Before setting out,we got together to prepare some something that we need to do as planed,each of us took a bag of rice to visit the old man.Then we went to the bus stop by bus to the destination.Everyone is every happy,about one hour latter,we arrived in our destination.Then we be divided into several groups,each group had their task. The most difficult Problem is that we could not find the sure way to the old man`s home,we got lost a few times,but we finally found the aim we were looking for.We talked with the old man,did some housework for them,I found the old man felt happiness. after that we came back,and ate together .finally I returned to school.Although I felt very tired,but I am very happy
