多多加强句法知识;文章结构不错,使用了丰富的衔接词和过渡词;文章用词太过单一,还要注意避免拼写错误;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
My views on Online Shopping In the era of information and technology,the Internet is more and more popular,with that the online shopping has become a fashon. Online shopping has played an important role in our life,it has many advantages, such as it save lots of time to go to all shopping mall to select a wonderful clothes and it also decreases the