文章结构清晰,有效地采用了多种衔接方法;注意文中个别的句子错误;文章用了较为丰富的词汇,学术词汇略显单薄,同时注意单词拼写的检查。
As a undergraduate of new century,we should be an all-round development,so myview is the college student should not hire the cleaners,they should do the laundry and cleaning by themselves. In the college we have enough time to do the chores,to do laundry and cleaning by ourselves can not only save lots of money to buy more food and books,but also can ralax ourselves from study to get a good condition to study contiune and it can also inprove our ability to live alone.Whereas do them by ourselves can reduce our parents' economic burden,let them have more time to take a rest.Besides,we can donate there money to those poor children to help them complete their studies. To sum up,there is lots of advantages to do laundry and cleaning by ourselves for the college student.