文中单词拼写做的不错,另外再增加词汇量积累就更好了;可适当增加从句的使用,注意文中的一些小错误;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Tina wants to go to Beijing, because she wants to see the Great Wall and other beautiful things in Beijing and have fun. Jim is going to stay at home because he is too tired and he wants to have a good rest. And I'm going to visit my aunt. She lives in the countryside and has a farm with many animals. I love animals very much and I beleive it will be a very happy holiday.