字数:200满分:100分
文章词汇表达丰富,学术词汇积累做的也很棒;能够很好的使用长难句且句法很棒;文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词,结构比较严谨。
In judging from what is detailedly demonstrated in the above bar chart,if we look hard enough,we can observe tangibly that it describes the trend which the college students engage in part-time job from their freshman year to senior year.The percentage of freshmen of the university engaged in part-time job is approximately 66.77%,while the seniors is roughly 88.24%.It is apparent that the college students who engage in part-time job immensely rises while in universities. What accounts for the increase?From my perspective,we have no better way to appreciate the not uncommon phenomenon than by studying the following influential factors.In the first place,obviously,we have no doubtful evidence that the change is closely related to the turning of students'attitude and outlook on education.They become aware that what really matters is the combination of theories and practice.In the second place,the change has a lot to do with the pressing employment situation. Approcaching graduation,they are actively occupied in part-time job in the hope that working experiences give themselves certain advantages over others in employment.In the third place,in the final analysis,income is a crucial factor contributing to the change. Small wonder,we have no difficulty but can obtain a conclusion that it is as the society further develops that the trend is bound to continue in the forthcoming years.As far as I am concerned,it is a positive change and should be further stimulated in that part-time job experiences are not merely beneficial to students'development but also to the development of our society.