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拼写很棒，可适当增加学术词汇的使用；作者句法基础不错，可适当增加复杂句的使用；全文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
Nowadays many parents tend to arrange everything for their children and many of them don't seem to realize that. Unfavorable it may be to the development of children, this phenomenon is understandable. As the cost of raising a child is rising unceasingly, parents are likely to be overcautious in raising children, although is it not good for the healthy development of children, as a matter of fact. The children whose parents like to arrange everything is more likely to be lacking in independent. So, what should the parents do to help children to be independent? In my opinion of view, raising the awareness of independence in children is of prime importance. Children should be given the chance to make their own decision because thinking independently is the top priority in being a person of independent mind. In addition, parents should let their children to face and solve the problems by themselves, which can be helpful in exercising their ability to solve problems independently. In general, being independent is very important for young people, of which parents should be aware.
