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文中词汇使用较丰富恰当，但学术词汇表达还需要很大提升；熟练使用了一些长难句；上下文衔接不流畅，文章结构不严谨。
As everyone knows,holding a strong will is the promise of success.Nobody would succeed if he give up when he encounters difficulties. It's beyond argument that every great historical character has a strong will that helps him to find directions when he confused and offer energy when he want to give up.For example,if president Mao gives up on the way to revolution when he was confronted with numerous difficulties and challenges ,can we have such a peaceful life and would China become the second economic country in the world?If Kobe Bryant did not choose to join in NBA when he was in the age of 18,when the most of the people did not offer confidences to him and if he has abandon his basketball career when he suffer from numerous injures,will he became the only person who can compared with Mike Jerdon?In a word,only a strong will can crate a great person. It's the same as us students!Obtain knowledge is a long road and absolutely not an easy way,yet if we want to be a useful person ,the first and foremost thing is to establish a strong will to lead us in the whole way.If we don't study in earnest,we will achieve nothing.Have a strong will and insist on our purpose,success is on the way!
