简单句偏多了;文章上下文衔接不是很紧凑,结构缺少组织;作者词汇表达不够丰富,另外要仔细检查词汇的拼写;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;连词使用偏少。
From,wanghaiyang@hotmail.com Date,Deverber 23rd 2008 To,sales-department@hotmail.com Dear Mr.Johnson, We had got your company's three husbands products in Deverber 22nd.But according to our singning of the No.35 order the numerber of product is 3,500. Then we hadn't got 500 products now.Please check your product list. We are looking forward to your early reply! your sencietiy, Wang haiyang