连接词过少,建议增加衔接词汇的积累;多多加强从句和复杂句的使用;文中拼写错误比较多,用词也稍显贫乏;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
our are happly,my country with long history and will good. beijin is beatful and modern city. some gymnasium would competed, his will owe green humanity and science . our welcome you meet in beijing. thx you and s s s s s wow wow ww ww w wwww w www