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可适当增加复合句和从句的使用；可适当增加文中学术词汇的使用，注意文中个别拼写错误；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Today , if you want to get the success in your work ,if you want to deserve the respect from your colleges ,or if you want gain appreciation from your boss ,in a word , if you want to stand outstanding in the society ,only the specific skills and knowledge can not get you every where ,the personal qualification plays an important rule in your work and your life .As for college graduates ,what is the most important personal quality of them .Some people hold the view that honesty is important for their hunting a good job .Furthermore , some surely think that the strength is .As far as for me , I think that the team spirit counts for the graduates of Universities. The team spirit help you become perfect in your job .When we were taking primary schooling ,the teachers taught us how important the team spirit and how to develop the team spirit .When work in a group , every one was qualified to work together ,share the ideas on the work ,bear the common purpose for the group .Similarly ,the graduates should equip themselves with the team spirit ,as they are going to work in a company .It is generally knowledged that team work in a company require the stuffs to be blessed with the team spirit which concerns about the organizational performance .in this case ,you are given more opportunity to get promotion . Team spirit brings you pleasure and happiness For graduates ,when they are green in a new job .They may encounter many complicated and difficult problems .in a team work ,if you are frank and willing to share with others .You may gain your teamates' favor .The problems will be done ,which can leave you happy and pleasured .At the same time ,when your colleges meet difficulty ,you as well give them a hand by considering their help for you before . All in all , the team spirit is the very important personal quality for the graduates of university .So if you want to shape a bright future in your world ,firstly ,shape your team spirit .
