过渡词很丰富,衔接词同时使用的恰到好处;作者句法知识扎实,可适当增加从句的使用;作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇,建议要多使用学术词汇;请注意分段。
With the development of internet,more and more people join in the net .They spent lots of time to shopping ,playing games,listening music or communicating with others,everything they ever do in reality are all replace by internet,especially communication which is the base active of a man with others.When there is no phone ,no internet ,we communicate with others by face to face,after there is phone ,we also can hear the voice from the other side of the phone,and now,we use internet to communicate by print word or screen .It is a progrows ,but also a back up . On the one hand,internet makes communication become more enverniently and we also can see each other even we are thousand km away from others,it is a amazing thing we ever dream in the old time.On the other hand ,more people become to like to face the screen instead of real man that could see his emotion and behave and hear clearly of his voice .I think , we can use the internet to make good for us ,but of course ,we need to avoid the harmful side of it ,then the relationship of peoples will become much better.
人气:78发布:2016-08-14
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