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文中词汇使用灵活，学术词汇量还要多多积累，拼写检查也要重视；文中应增加一些长难句的使用，会为文章添彩；层次不清晰，几乎没有使用衔接词。
Angle of jasmine When I was young,I lived with my grandparents. Out of the door, turning left, there is a plant Jasmine corner. The plant Jasmine was planted by a girl whose name is Shang Moli. Shang Moli had no friends,for she couldn’t go outside and she sat in a wheelchair.Nor did I have friends because of my caprice.I remember that day,I picked a flower of her jasmine by stealth and was seen by her.Then I walked towards her and said, ‘Give you the flower,Shang Moli.’She rose up her delicate face,aske me carefully, ‘Why do you give it to me?’After a long time thinking over,I put the flower in her hair rudely, ‘because we are friends!’She similed and there was overwhelmed by an unexpected favour of joy on her face.However,I even didn’t know what was ‘friends’.When I noticed her wheelchair,I shouted and asked her to lend it for me to play.She smiled again,and wheeled towards me slowly.I could’t wait to sit on the chair and screamed, ‘How happy you are!So fun this chair!’She struggled to her feet and stood leaning against the wall.There was a beautiful smile on her face and she looked really pretty in the sun. Several minutes later,I felt tired and said to her, ‘can you accompany me to speak?’But a long time later she didn’t come to me.I got angry and ran there to drag her.She shouted as she fell to the ground. She cried ,trying to be quiet.However,the pains made her face become distorted.Afterwards,her grandma came out of the house,shouting at me.I felt scared and ran home quikly. Later,I almost didn’t go to her home.Every time I passed her home,she always smiled to me and said, ‘Come in and play with me,OK?’But I often went away without turning my head.Then later,my parents took me to another city.Seldom did I have chance to meet Shang Moli. At my age of 10,I came to visit my grandparents and suddenly Shang Moli struck me.I went straight the path,turning left and came into her home.The moment she saw me,she wore a besutiful smile on her face.She carried a small basket and picked beautiful jasmines for me.I watched at her,wheeling toughly.At that moment,I realized that her feet were broken for several years.She hugged the basket full of beautiful jasmines and gave it to me, ‘Two days later,my grandparents will take me to Shanghai,maybe I wouldn’t come back any more.Thie basket of jasmine is for you,and please don’t forget me,for I am Moli as well.’I took the basket logyly and told her, ‘I will never forget you,my dear friend.’In the sunshine,she simled like jasmine,so beautiful. Now,I am 18.I haven’t see her for eight years.However,her smiling face is always in my mind and can’t foeget it.I am eager to tell her that I am glad to be friends with her,and I feel sorry for my caprice.Eight years has passed,Shang Moli,are you fine? Standing in front of her former home in the sunshine of Octorber,I teared peacefully.The jasmine had already faded but the leaves were still dark green.I touched the leaves wildly and thought of my first friend,Shang Moli again.I closed my eyes tightly and daren’t to open them.I know,sometime lost will never come back.I also know,next spring,this tree of jasmine will be in full bloom,more beautiful than any other jasmine.
