文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;可适当增加从句的使用;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请注意分段。
This year, my family had built a new house. It was designed and built by my father himself. It has three stores with two very big windows. I like them very much. Its outlook is red and you will think it is an ancient building when your first sight of it. You will see many fruit-trees around it. People who pass by our house will leave their appreciate. I feel proud of it. I love it very much.