句法知识很棒,若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更出色;建议增加衔接词和过渡词的使用;作者词汇表达不够丰富,同时请仔细检查词汇的拼写;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
My grandfather used to be a soldior, who is very strong and energy. He is very kind and smart. When we make mistake, he will tell the wise to us and smile kindly. He has a flexible hands. When in the festival, he always does many beautiful and funny toies to us. In our family, there are many blankets and sweeps were made of him, my grandfather. I miss him and I love him.