句法知识较好,但需加强句式变化;过渡词和衔接词使用不恰当,缺少组织,可适当增加连接词的使用;文章中拼写错误较多,同时请作者增加词汇丰富度;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
sam six o'oclok get up yesterday.then back go to park ,he enjoy self ,and prents have luch in mcdonaid's .sam and he friend play basketball,form four o'oclok pm to six o'oclok pm .have dinner ,sam and he 's father go for a walk ,father give he buy a traditional music cd. sam have a what's interesting todey