文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;过渡词和衔接词使用的比较不错;适当增加一些从句的使用,会为文章添彩。
times flies,we have entered 21 century。In the 21 century,Civilized manners is a important progress。 At first,as a modern people,if you will success depend on if you have good behave。 Then,i will show some instances around me。When i walk or run on the street,i want to quiet,but in fact,there is full of voice everywhere。And in the park,i want to enjoy the beauty of nature,like watching beautiful flowers and so on,but there are some people who do not have Civilized manners,they always spit in the park,i feel angry,but i can not stop them by myself one person,i need more people who love nature and know the important of having Civilized manners to help me。 We can set up a team of volunteers to help people to improve Civilized manners! Just do it!