文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;有效地使用了语句间的衔接成分;句式变化多样。
Exercise not only makes me fun but also makes me more healthy. My favorite sport is soccer.By chance,after school,because of the criticism by the teacher,i feel terrible,but when i passed a small garden,i find a soccer ball,i looked around there is no people,i could not find loser,so i decided to take it. Since i have picked up one soccer ball,i have loved playing soccer ball,every day i play soccer ball with my friends,it can improve friendly between us.As time passes,i can't do without soccer ball.i think it is the most wonderful exercise. Beckham,a cool man like god,he is famous around the world,he is also my favorite player,i so like him that i want to be a professional football player,So i will devoted myself to studying football and improving it for achieving my dream!To be a professional football player.