作者词汇表达较为熟练,学术词汇使用不是很多;作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;上下文衔接不流畅,文章结构不严谨;请注意分段。
My favorite sport is play soccer.When I was young,my father took me to his school to exercise.My father was a middle school teacher,and he liked sporting.I saw he play soccer on the playground with other teacher,and I felt very subtle.God was kind that he let I meet a soccer on the way home by chance.I took it home and play it with friends every day,then I fell in love with playing soccer. From then on,I often practice playing soccer with friends,and I can always feel happy in the practice.It gives me much power,I make much progress in it,and I believe I can do better! I want to be a professional football player like David Beckham,who my idol is.