文中单词拼写做的很棒,再多积累些词汇就更好了;句法知识很棒,若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更出色;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;连词使用偏少。
Sam gets up at six o'clock yesterday. Ten he is went to park by bike and he was very happy when he was stay park.He and his parents have lunch at noon at the mcdonald's. In the afternoon four o'clock from six o'clock,Samand his friend ply basketball in the school.at after dinner ,sam and his father go for a walk ,his father give him buy the classical musical cd.