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文中词汇使用较丰富，学术词汇使用要加强；可适当增加从句的使用；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用；请注意分段。
My name is Lucy and family name is Lucy King.I am a 13-year-old girl.I come from the UK that it is a beautiful country.At the age of five my mother told me plenty of chinese culture first. From then on I am interested in chines and began to pay more attention it.I find China is a history country.There are lots of places of interest such as the Great Wall,the Palace Museum and so on.These are so attractive that I would like to arrive in China. Besides,I have a lot of hobbies such as sports, music, movies.At present, I join the music chub.My father says it not only develop my art talent,but also communicate with each other.Do you agree with me? I hope we become good friends.I also tell you my country about interesting things.We can communicate with ourselves.I hope you will come my country in future .I look forward to your letter.
