文中词汇使用较丰富,学术词汇使用要加强;从句使用不熟练;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用;请注意分段。
My name is Lucy and family name is Lucy King.I am a 13-year-old girl.I come from a lovely country the UK.At the age of five my mother told me plenty of chinese culture first. I am interested in china and begin to pay attention it.I discover China is a history nation.There are lots of places of interest such as the Great Wall,the Palace Museum and so on.These are so attractive that I would like to arrive in China. Besides,I have a lot of hobbies such as sports, music, movies.At present, I join in the music chub.My father says it not only develop my art talent,but also communicate with each other.Do you agree with me? I hope we become good friends.I also tell you my country about interesting things.We can convey ourselves.Welcome to my nation.I look forward to your letter.