作者应在平时练习中加强复杂句的练习;请作者增加词汇表达的丰富度,对拼写检查也要重视;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请注意分段。
i have a dream when i was a child .i wanted to be a policeman,because i want to protect my mother.i have a dream when i was in the senior school .i wanted to be a teacher .because i love my The Head Teacher Came.and admire to her .i still have a dream now .but i don't want to be another one .i belongs to myself.so i will work harder than before .i trust i will follw my dream and i will achieve my dream one day .