单词拼写做的很好,请注意积累词汇量;文中句子错误比较多;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Sam get up on six clock in yesterday, he was very happily in the park. In the afternoon,he eats some food in MaiDanglao, In the evening, he play basketball with your friends at the school till in the six clock,after dinner, Sam go for a walk with your father, his father bought a CD