单词拼写做的很好,请注意积累词汇量;句式灵活多变,再加强从句的使用会更棒;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用;请注意分段;连词使用偏少;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
He get up in the six clock yesterday, he was very happily in the park. In the afternoon,he eats some food in the Mai dang Lao , In the evening, he play basketball with your friends at the school till in the six clock,after dinner, Sam go for a walk with your father, his father bought a CD.