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文中词汇表达多样性不足，在学术词汇方面尤其要多积累；作者句法不错，但是文章整体句子稍微偏短；过渡词和衔接词使用不恰当，缺少组织，可适当增加连接词的使用。
Hello,my name is Lucy King. I am nearly 13 years old. I am from the UK and I speak English. I like doing sports, because I think it's good for our health. I also like listening music and seeing a movie. I want to a pen pal in China, because I think China is a very interesting country and I like China very much and I want to know more about China. I hope we have the similar hobbies, so we could talk about everything. I want to learn Chinese with you. I hope I can make friends with you!
