语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;复杂句采用很棒;文中用词稍显贫乏,同时请注意单词拼写的检查;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用。
tom is a middle school boy and make his own timetable .every morning he will wake up at six o\\\'clock and go to school a quarter later. as for the breakfast ,he never eat outside ,cause it\\\'s more healthful . when he arrive classroom ,he study hard and act like there is no one out there, he never listen to music at school neither and also don\\\'t watch TV after he go home ,one thing that acompany him is just book , all kinds of books at night ,of course ,there is a noon break during 11 o\\\'clock to 2 o\\\'clock ,he is insist of being back home by 12 in the morning and by 9:20 in the evening ,just because of this , the good schedule helps him a lot .