简单句型过多,从句使用不熟练;文中词汇表达稍欠丰富,请增加词汇量的积累;语言不流畅;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;可以适当增加副词的使用。
Sam got up at six o’clock yesterday morning. After that, he rode his bike to the park. He had great fun playing in the park. At noon, he had lunch in McDonald’s with his parents. In the afternoon, Sam played basketball from four to six with his classmates. It was relaxing. After dinner, Sam went for a walk with his father. His father bought a classical CD for him. He was very happy because he enjoys music very much. What a happy day Sam had! Sam got up at six o'clock yesterday morning. After that,he rode his bike to the park. he had great fun playing in the park.At noon, he had lunch in McDonald's with his parents. In the afternoon, Sam played basketball from four to six with his classmates. It was relaxing. After dinner, Sam went for a walk with his father. Hie father bought a classical CD for him. He was vevry happy because he enjoys music very much. What a happy day Sam had!