多多加强从句和复杂句的使用;作者词汇量偏小,且文章中拼写错误较多;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用。
sam got up 6:00am yesterday.After that,he rode bike went to park and he played very happy.noom he had lauch with his prents in McDonald's.Afternoom he play basketball with his friends in the school.Them play basketball untill 6:00pm.After dearty,sam go for a walk with his father,and his father bought a music CD. What a intersting days!