文中用词稍显贫乏,同时请注意单词拼写的检查;注意句式在文中的变化,加强一些从句的使用,文章会更棒;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Sam got up six clock yesterday morning , after that ,he ride hie bike to the park . he had fun in park. at noon, he had lunch on mcdonald's with parent .in afternoon sam palyed baskerball form four to six with his classmates. after dinner, he went for a walk for farther , his farther brought cd for him. he very happy.