文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用;请注意分段。
Football has been my favorite sports ever since I was a little kid. Actually I fell in love with it just by chance. One day I walked to home from school, happened to a football on the road. Then I picked it and brought back to home. From then, I often called my friends to play with me. I found great joy that football brings to me. I joined a football team together with my classmates. We take training and matches. My favorite football star is the famous Beckham from England. I hope I can become a professional football player when I grow up.