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作者词汇量积累很好，学术词汇积累要重视；从句使用不熟练；文章上下文衔接不是很紧凑，结构缺少组织；请注意分段。
On Saturday, we went camping, with our teachers. First we pitched the tent. Then our older brothers and older sisters played game with us. At noon, we all had a delicious lunch followed by a barbecue for dinner. And at night, we had bonfire and sang and danceds. We didn't sleep until 10:20 at night. But some of the boys were so noisy we couldn＇t fall asleep. I only slept for three hours. The next morning, everybody woke up very early. After exercising in the morning, we all went to see the small pigs. On the way there, we saw a lot of geese. At 10:00, we went back to eat ice cream. It was so cold. Then, we all played games together. We ate lunch at 12:00. In the afternoon, we played musical instruments and sang. After that, camp was over. We had a lot of fun at the summer camp. I am looking forward o going to another summer camp soon. And on Sunday I was very busy.I got up at 6:10.I did sports and then had breakfast. After breakfast,I cleaned my room.Then I played the guitar for two hours.I cooked lunch for my family because my parents were at work.In the afternoon,I played soccer with my friends in the park.I was really tired and came back home at 6:20 pm.Then I ate dinner,after dinner I took a shower and watched TV for about an hour.I did my homework at 8:30 at night. I went to bed at 10:30.
