文章词汇表达丰富度要提高,拼写错误比较多;若加重从句在文中的比例,文章会很棒;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Sam got up six o'clock yestaday morning. After that,he rade his bike to the park. He had gread fun palying in the park . At noon,he had lunch in McDonald's with his parets.In the afternoon, Sam palyde basketball from four to six xith his classmates,It was relaxing. After dinner,sam went for a wake with his father , His farther boghe a classical CD for him, He was very happy ,because be enioys muisc vory much. what a happy day sam had !