句式变化不明显,另外要多多加强从句在文中的比例;文中拼写错误比较多,同时请注意积累词汇量;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段。
I am Sam,I got up 6 yesterday,I went tu park by bicycle.I played very happy,I had lunch at McDonald's with my parten.I played basketball with my classmate from 4 till 6 in the afternoon.After dinner,I went for a walk with my father.My father bought a classic mucie CD for me. How fun a day.