句式灵活多变,再加强从句的使用会更棒;文中缺乏丰富的词汇表达,但词汇拼写要更加认真;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段。
Playing football is my favorite, I fell in love with football by chance, one day, on my way home, I found a football, I was so curiosity on this a little round ball, then began to play it with my friends, from then on , football bacame a part of my life. I often play football with my classmate, we train ourselfs, sometimes compete in football games in order to improve our skills. among all the football stars, I admire Beckham most, it is not his hundsome appearence , but his skills impressed me a lot. My greatest dream is to become a professional football player.