文中从句数量过少;文章用词太过单一,且单词拼写错误较多;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用。
Sam got up at 6:00 yesterday.After that, he rode a bike to the park. He enjoyed himslef in the park. at noon, he had lunch in Mcdonald's with his parents. in the afternoon, he palyed basketball in the school from four clock till six clock. after supper, he went for a walk with his father, his father brought him a classic music CD. what a funny day sam had!