文中单词拼写做的很棒,再多积累些词汇就更好了;若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用,文章会更棒;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用。
Yesterday,Sam got up at 6:00 a.m..After that, he ride his bike to the park. He had a good time in the park. At noon, he had lunch in Mcdonald's with his parents.In the afternoon, he was in the school where he played basketball from four clock till six clock. After supper, he went for a walk with his father, during which time,his father brought him a classic music CD. It was a wonderful day for Sam.