文中单词拼写做的很棒,再多积累些词汇就更好了;文中从句数量过少;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用。
Yesterday,Sam got up at 6:00 in the morning.After that, he rode his bike to the park. He had a great fun playing in the park. At noon, he had lunch in Mcdonald's with his parents.In the afternoon, he was in the school where he played basketball from four clock till six clock. After supper, he went for a walk with his father,his father brought him a classical CD . It was a wonderful day for Sam.