可适当增加从句的使用,注意文中的一些小错误;文章词汇表达不够丰富,也请检查文章的单词拼写;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Yesterday,Sam got out of bed when time is six o'clock.He went to the park by bike,and he had a good time in the park.When noon he eat lunch in the McDonald's with his parents.Afternoon,he played basketball with his classmates in the school,and them play four till six o'clock.When he eated dinner,he go for a walk with his father,his father buy a classcial music CD for him.This day Sam have so happy.