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文中衔接词和过渡词使用的很棒；句式灵活多变，但文中的句子错误偏多；拼写很棒，可适当增加学术词汇的使用；请注意分段。
With the development and popularity of the internet,more and more people like online shopping.Everybody in the world knows that the most easy way to buy things is to buy on the net,you can seat at home to buy everything what you want by computer,it's very convenient and it can save us a lot of your time,even more it's cheap. Even though it's very beneficial to our daily life,there are still something bad about the online shopping,for example,we can't see the real things when we are buying it.So sometimes we bought the things they are not exactly what we want.Even it created a lot of chances for illegal businesses to sell fakes because we buy them only through pictures and don't have chance to inspect the quality of the goods So i do suggest that we should go to the securit and reliable website to buy things,meanwhile the related government department should pay more attention to the quality of the online store
