从句使用不熟练;文中有较多拼写错误,请作者增加词汇量的积累;上下文衔接欠佳,文章层次欠清晰,建议加强连接词和衔接词的积累;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;可以适当增加副词的使用。
Sam got up at 6 o'clock yesterday. Then he went to park used bicycle,he played happy.He and his parent's have lunch in McDonald's.Sam and his friend played basketball in this afternoon,begin at 4 o'clock to 6 o'clock.After dinner,Sam and his fater go for a walk.His fater given he a music CD.How beautiful and fun day is Sam have.