若增加一些从句的使用,文章会取得更好的成绩;上下文衔接欠佳,文章层次欠清晰,建议加强连接词和衔接词的积累;文中有较多拼写错误,用词太过单一。
Sam got up at six o'clock yesterday. He rode a bike went to park. He had a good time at the park ,He had lunch at the mcdonald's with parents ,At the afternoon,Sam piayed basketball at shool with him friend .At aftenoon four o'clock till at aftenoon six o'clock sam together got for a walk with fatch , Him fatch gave sam bought a classicia musician cd ,This day samvery happy .