文中单词拼写做的很棒,再多积累些词汇就更好了;文中应增加从句和复合句的使用;缺少组织,上下文衔接稍显不流畅。
Sam got up at six o'clock yesterday,then he went to a park by bike and enjoyed himself in the park.At noon,sam had lunch with his parents at McDonald's;In the afternoon,sam played with his classmates in the school from 4 pm.to 6pm. After supper,he also went for a walk with his father, meanwhile, his father bought a classic music CD for him.How fun a day it is for sam!