文中单词拼写做的很棒,再多积累些词汇就更好了;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;文章结构欠严谨,基本没有衔接成分;请注意分段;连词使用偏少;可以适当增加副词的使用。
One possible version: Pen pal wanted Hello, my name is Lucy King. I’m from the UK and I can speak English. I want a pan pal in China. I think China is a beautiful country. I’m 13 years old and my birthday is in December. I have a little dog named Coco. I like playing sports and listening to the music. On weekends, I often go to the movies with my parents. Please write and tell me about yourself.