可适当增加从句的使用,注意文中的一些小错误;作者词汇表达不够灵活,但有些单词拼错了;结构不严谨,几乎没有使用衔接词,上下文衔接欠流畅。
Sam went up at six color yesterday, and then go to the park by bike, He did have fun time at the part. And had lunch with his parents in McDonald's. Sam palyed basketball with his classmate in school from 16:00pm till 18:00pm in that afternoonh. Sam went for a walk with his dad in evening, H is Dad also bought a classic CD to him. What a interesting day Sam had!