多多注意句法错误,若加强从句的练习,文章会更棒;语言不流畅;文中拼写错误稍多,词汇表达贫乏;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
asf hjfsa ajk k fjk;f nda fdas fdsaf fdafsadsf affafdadsf f fafdsafhjfdsshdahf hakfhsf fmafs fnfhabdjfauehjfdhsdjshd hdkahs dhsuenc sjsa jdhal dhdedua dhaldha dhhwudhaold hal fafasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaa a a a a a a a a a a aa a a a a a a a a a a a aa a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a aa a aa a a a a a a aaa a a a a a a a a